The title of this article refers to a term my husband created. It’s a particular approach he takes when somebody shares an involved kink fantasy they are propositioning with us. My husband has a Tumblr page that many of you have seen; and if you haven’t, please have a NSFW look: Sir Dart’s PitBull . There you will find many pictures of our own scenes in our playroom, as well as some reblogged favorites from other sites. We have all kinds of fun with the things we have come up with and it’s been an awesome challenge crafting new devious things we can do to subs or each other there.
But it never fails. We will get a message on Recon from a fan of the Tumblr page, and they will seek to have us play out an intense long-term bondage scene with them. Now THAT’S an honor and very flattering, and many of these guys we would actually love to be the perpetrator of captivity for. So we engage them and find out the details of their scene, and what ensues is more on the lines of an epic 3-part film directed by Ridley Scott (which come to think of it would be a really hot theatrical experience). The person will cite the intense bondage drawings of Leo Ravenswood and the accompanying stories of men being kept at the Estate in strict 24/7 imprisonment, with an IV to provide necessary fluids and a catheter to dispose of body waste. “That’s how I want to be kept, Sirs.” They will say things like, “I want to be turned into more than a slave, I want to be completely stripped and objectified and given no rights or privilege – caged and chained up and hooded and just be a piece of furniture with a barcode tattooed on the back of my neck showing your ownership of me, and kept like that for weeks…and I’ll gladly relocate from Belgium…”
Well, I mean, it does sound hot. In one’s head.
Now, let’s apply a little logic. Or as my husband would say, “take this scenario and divide by seven, and you’ll get what’s really feasible”.
I know of some guys – particularly younger ones who are more flexible and quite frankly have more energy – that can withstand a much longer bondage scenario, even overnight. We’ll chat with guys online or at parties about things like mummification or some kind of sensory deprivation play, and they’ll tell us that the longest they’ve been wrapped up is 23 hours, and they want to break their record.
One of the devices that we have in our playroom is a bondage box that my husband built. It’s very confining and has multiple means of restraint both inside and out. It’s great fun to play with but the longest I have ever lasted in it is an hour. My husband holds the record of three hours. It’s not that it’s not constantly arousing or secure, it’s just that sooner or later, your body cramps up from being in the same immobilizing position. Or a limb starts to itch and won’t stop. Or you have to pee. Or…the novelty passes, and suddenly the hotness of the fantasy isn’t matching the reality. We’ll tell guys of the duration of time that we’ve spent locked up in the box and they’ll come back with something like, “Oh I would last far longer” or more often “I don’t want to be given the option of being let out. I want to spend the night in it and be locked up for at least a day!”
Now take that desire and divide by seven, and you’ll get something that is a lot more doable for everyone involved, and in the end just as hot. I mean, I have no issue trying something like this, but bear in mind that as the top, I want to feel engaged with the captive sub. These proposed scenarios basically set us up to be more like babysitters, and after a while I’m probably going to get bored. It’s possible the sub might actually too eventually, and then feel disappointed that they aren’t going to last as long as their mind thought.
I can tell you of a few times where friends of mine have actually played out their detailed long-term imprisonment fantasies to the hilt, almost following their desired ‘script’ verbatum. What they describe is of course amazing, but they have also said that something odd occurred during the course of the play. They didn’t get hard. At all. Like, even when they were allowed to be aroused with absence of chastity, they didn’t. They said it was as if their mind was so blown away that they got to finally play out their ultimate dream that the synapses were in overdrive and they couldn’t process it – and thus not get aroused. Apparently this is quite normal. In fact one kinkster friend of mine described it perfectly with the analogy of getting married and all the anticipation leading up to the momentous ceremony. She said, “ask anyone who has gotten married how much they remember about the wedding itself. Most will say they hardly remember it.” I would agree accept I remember my wedding very well, because I was clad in tight head to toe leather and cried like a big ol’ girl…
Know the limits of reality. They are okay. If your scene suddenly gets cut short because of them, it doesn’t have to be seen as a FAIL. Fantasies and the in-depth creations in our kinky minds can be boundless and infinite, and they should be. It’s our twisted imaginations that keep our desire to play ignited. Just remember though that an actual playscene doesn’t have to live up to the expectations created by our imagination in order to be fulfilling. Often when it comes to play, less really can be more. And this way the players are left with the rush of the exchange and not disappointment.
And that being said, below is MY favorite story by Leo Ravenswood, The Great White Hunter 🙂