I want to start off by apologizing and taking full ownership of the passive-aggressive nature to this blog post. This is my chance to vent about something that has been going on for months and I want to hopefully turn it into something that will benefit others. Back in May, I was approached by an aspiring Dom who wanted to gain expand his skillset and be mentored into having more experience. His boy had a plethora of experiences under his belt and his Daddy wanted to up his game to be able to satisfy the boy’s kinky needs. He approached me to train him in this, and we set up a whole dynamic where he would actually be a boy to my husband and myself to learn firsthand from the perspective of being a sub. We were all very excited about the possibilities we had created and were all eager to embark on the journey. I might also add that I hold this gentleman in very high regard as a friend, so it was a deep honor that he was willing to submit to me for the sake of learning.

Sadly, none of our sessions have come to fruition. At first, it was simply a matter of scheduling when everyone was available. The gentleman does not live locally so there was some travel involved and unfortunately some elements beyond our control required us to reschedule. Nobody was to blame, was just a typical case of ‘shit happens’.

Months would go by though, and I would find myself wanting to stay engaged in what we had initially created. At first the responses I would get would be on the lines of, “yes we are still interested. Let’s look at the first week of next month.” Then of course to no avail. Eventually it got to the point where I would send texts and either not get a response, or what I would get would be stoic but cordial. Rather than making a decision one way or the other and communicating it to me, I would continue to be strung along, left in a kind of limbo.

The dynamic is much like playing a tennis game, and my serve is not being returned.

I get that things change, circumstances change. Life happens and things just get beyond our control sometimes. What is most disappointing about all of this though is I think very highly of this gentleman and consider him a friend, and I’m not sure he realizes how much I invested in his growth emotionally. I can certainly forgive the fact that things just didn’t happen like we thought and some of it wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was my belief though that he respected our friendship a lot more than his actions are showing, and that is probably what hurts the most.

I wish people would understand that Doms are not tough archetypes as they portray themselves to be in the playroom or the bar or event. We are not emotionally ‘cold’ and brute, we are human beings who get hurt feelings just like anybody else. When we are approached to mentor or teach or take on someone as a sub, we are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable emotionally. A person might draw the conclusion of, ‘Oh Sir such-and-such won’t mind he’s got tons of stuff going on already” or “Well they’ve already got a couple of boys to keep them occupied, I won’t be missed.” I’ve seen this happen with others and with me. I’ve also seen it in reverse with boys or subs who have lots of activities going on and lots of play where the Dom simply says, “the boy has got plenty going on he won’t miss a text from me” Again, the ball is not returned in the court, and feeling are hurt. It causes the person to want to be more guarded next time.

My husband often says I open my heart up a bit too easily to people, and it leaves me open to being disappointed like this. Obviously he is protective of me and just hates seeing me get hurt. I have to agree with him, but I also feel that it’s simply one of the qualities that makes me the Sir that I am. I am a man who cares, and loves. I have compassion and I like seeing others soar. And yes, it does leave me open to get hurt at times, but it’s also one of the things about me that enable others to grow and to trust.

So, rant over. I shall continue to be the leatherman and Sir that I am. It simply feels better to do so. But alas, I declare ‘love’ with this particular tennis match.

I delivered a speech last weekend about a very painful trauma from my past, and I did it in the actual school where it occurred. There has been a lot of very hard work and tears that led up to this moment, but I can truly say that I now have a feeling of it all being complete.  Three decades have passed where this incident has occupied real estate in my head and my psyche, and to be given the opportunity to have closure on it is an immense blessing.

It had me thinking though, about a funny little element in the way we are designed as human beings. So many of us have traumas of some kind in our past, and in the leather and kink community it seems like we have double the amount. Perhaps we are just accustomed to being so open about what we are into that we also have a freedom in displaying the pains of our past. Indeed it’s not uncommon to be with a group of leathermen or kinksters that attempt to ‘out-saga’ one another in conversation. But what’s interesting is that many of us, when given the chance to actually put closure on a demon from our past, opt not to. Many of us have referenced the trauma so often or blamed it for our shortcomings, and in turn it has become a part of our identity. Subconsciously, it’s scary to give up something that we believe has been a part of us the majority of our lives.

I remember a friend of mine was struggling with the debt of her student loans for her time in film school. A relative had passed and left her with a very sizable inheritance, which among other things would bring her level of debt to zero. Some time had passed since she received the money and I asked her how if felt to not have the pressure of owing money looming over her head. She confessed that she still had not paid it off, even though she could do so with just a few keyboard taps. She told me, “It’s completely insane but here it is – I have known this financial struggle as an integrated part of my life for so long; if that’s no longer there, what do I have? It’s like I won’t know what to do with myself if I don’t have this debt to complain about!”

Now I’m happy to say that she quickly got over herself and paid it all off within a matter of minutes after saying that. I believe hearing herself acknowledge it out loud was the catalyst to finally make the leap. I didn’t judge her though, because I had those experiences myself. We talk at length about wanting to finally let go of hurts and upsets from our past, but when the opportunity finally presents itself or we get the courage to do so, we hesitate because we are uncomfortable with the empty ‘clearing’ that will open up. This however, is also what makes closure truly exciting.

I am still processing what I let go of last Sunday. I am still crying tears that I wasn’t allowed to cry when I was 14 years old. I am still feeling exhausted and reflecting on the magnitude of all of it. I am also very present to the incredible change that has occurred. Things are different now in a permanent sense. And it’s something I approach with celebration. Not everyone embraces change like that though. For some, the clearing that is created from closure is so foreign that they actually create new circumstances subconsciously to mirror the trauma that was released. Indeed my friend with the inheritance has caught herself on the verge of racking up new debt, which she quickly squelches because of her awareness.

Resist the urge to associate the hurts and traumas of your past with being your identity. If you constantly reference what has happened to you, the focus is always on the past and not the future. Troubles in your history cannot be undone or changed, but the future always remains an open field of possibility. Consider your traumas as something that you ‘have’, not something that you ‘are’. When you do this you free yourself up to live a future filled with all kinds of new ways of seeing yourself, and in turn going beyond the limits you thought you always had.

And that to me is an integral part of being a leatherman 🙂

I often hear of failed D/s relationships where the culprit is unsatisfied expectations. The parties involved reach a kind of impasse because something is not communicated early on about what each party wants out of the chosen connection. Certainly this has been the case as I look back on relationships of my own where it was not laid out clearly what each person wanted when the relationship commenced. But what if one or more of the involved parties does not actually know what exactly they are seeking due to a lack of experience?

Certainly a person with an amount of history in D/s has a clearer understanding of themselves and what they hope to get out of the partnership; they have had a substantial amount of time to gain knowledge of oneself and implement what they learn toward future connections. But is it reasonable to demand that of somebody who is relatively new to it? In looking back, I find that it is perfectly okay for some of these answers to present themselves during the actual journey, so long as all parties enter into it with the agreement of ‘exploration’. Perhaps a person has merely vague ideas and images of what it means to be a boy or even a Sir – and often these can be discovered as they go along. It’s a mutually agreed upon means of finding out what elements you respond to positively in the ‘fog’ of D/s dynamics. I call these your ‘beacons’.

There is a young man in my life right now who has been making an ongoing effort to ‘lower his walls’ more and not shut people out. Like many of us, he has had his share of pain and upset from various D/s and kink connections and has put up protective boundaries to shield himself from anyone screwing him again. He is also becoming aware that to do so is closing him off from truly connecting.

I can certainly speak to this as I have a history of childhood sex abuse that caused me to live with my own protective walls for decades. As a scared young child I put my trust in adult authority figures to receive their comfort and guidance, and in turn was sexually violated. It made me draw a conclusion that if I lower any kind of protective boundary somebody would take advantage and hurt me. For years I closed myself off to experiencing intimacy because of this. I would always be ‘guarded’ as I felt I needed to protect myself. And I thought this was a good thing. The problem was, I was also shutting out love.

I remember having a conversation about this recently with my mother, who as I have mentioned in previous blog entries is a bit of a Shirley Maclaine character in that she is very metaphysical in her approach to life. I asked her about all the instances where she appears to make herself an ‘easy target’ because she trusts so easily. Her response was interesting:

“At the end of the day son, I choose to trust because I simply feel better doing so.”

It was a little too simple for me to get at first. I thought maybe this is some kind of simplified resolution a person that age has after they have lived for x amount of years. But I pressed her about it as she’s always had a very deep spiritual view that has helped me through the years. My rebuttal was that it felt good to me that I was looking out for myself and protecting myself from any kind of future hurt, almost like I was being my own ‘champion’. But she challenged me with it (something she is horrifically good at – with the reading glasses perched on the bridge of her nose) and said, “you think you feel better by being so guarded, but in doing so you are also constantly reminding yourself that you were hurt once.” And then she gave me that ‘look’ with a pregnant pause to make it all set in before she continued. “I certainly understand that you want to protect yourself from being hurt again son, but in closing yourself off you’re essentially protecting yourself from life. And that’s fine, and you can do that as long as you live, and on your gravestone they’ll simply put, ‘HERE LIES DART. HE WAS VERY GUARDED.’    My choice to trust simply feels better, son.”

Yep. This is the woman who breastfed me.

She had a point though, especially with the gravestone comment (my mother simply goes for the jugular when it comes to being poignant). One can be as self-protective and guarded as long as they wish, but sooner or later it actually becomes a liability to embracing life. During that conversation she asked me how much extra energy I thought I was using in not trusting anybody due to my sexual abuse. I honestly couldn’t answer her because I reached a point where it simply was a part of me, almost like it was my identity. She pointed out that sooner of later I was going to realize that I had been using up a tremendous amount of happiness at the expense of being so closed off and scared. And that isn’t truly living.

Now this is not to say that there isn’t a certain amount of wisdom in caution. Obviously it’s a good thing, as this is what enables us to go through life making better choices for ourselves based on the times we fell down and got hurt in the past. In the case of leather and D/s relationships we have all had our share of upsets and bad things happening because well, we’re all human and that’s just simply part of the life experience. None of us are perfect in our design. We strive to recognize ‘red flags’ and things that did not work for us previously so as not to allow the hurt to return like it did before. But in the context of what my mother was sharing, the act of trusting and allowing yourself to be vulnerable is not done blindly. It’s taking all of the lessons we’ve learned from the past and filing them away as knowledge, and proceeding anyway. It’s making a conscious decision to engage in a connection knowing that “yes I may get hurt in this, but I may also experience something amazing and fulfilling. And if I do get hurt, I know I can survive it. I have before.”

Then it’s just simply a matter of jumping in with both feet!

To lower your guard and to trust is always a choice that you have in the moment, no matter how challenging others my have made it for you. If you want to have your greatest growth in your leather relationships and connections, and essentially the greatest rewards, sooner or later it is YOU that has to make the choice to trust. Yes it can be unbelievably scary, but in the face of that it can also be equally gratifying. And when you do so successfully you become aware that the choice to trust is something that nobody can ever take away from you ever.

When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you also allow love in, including self-love. And I definitely speak from experience there as I embrace the amazing life I have now with my incredible husband!  🙂

When I began exploring leather in my early twenties I was of course very drawn to becoming a collared boy to someone. Yes, I was having an abundant amount of play experiences, but I was really hungry for something more secure. I wanted to feel like a Sir’s property, to be owned and cherished. He would help me grow and learn, and provide structure and balance in a life where I desperately needed it.  The photos and Tom of Finland drawings I saw depicting men in their collars gave me a sense of longing, and I thought one day I will be fortunate enough to earn a Dom’s collar myself.

There was a good friend of mine back then who was a great support for helping me start out in all this. He too was a boy and I remember the day his Sir finally presented him with his collar. I was so congratulatory to him (if not quite jealous) , and I remember commenting that it must feel like a great reward for his hard work and devotion. His response had a great impact on me,

“Actually Dart, now the work begins.”

At the time I didn’t understand what he meant by this. I remember his attempting to explain it all to me, but being needy and inexperienced, I didn’t truly hear it. When you have your mind set on a certain concept, even if it’s a false one, you can become quite selective in the information that comes through. When I started in all this, I naively saw a collaring as a ‘point of arrival’.  It was a symbol of reward for doing all kinds of hard work and proving oneself to be worthy of a Sir’s ownership. To some degree that’s true, but the problem was that I was seeing it as a security blanket. I had this idea that if only I could prove myself worthy of actually becoming a collared boy, I would feel worthy as a person. The collar would be proof that I was important to someone, and I didn’t have to feel insecure or lonely anymore.  Once I received it I could finally feel good. In other words, I was making the symbol mean something that it wasn’t, almost like it was a panacea for the negative feelings I had about myself.

Now I have been a collared boy several times, and each experience has been monumental in helping me grow and mature as a person, and as a Sir. The very first time I earned a man’s collar was in my late twenties, and I will tell you that that was when I really learned what my friend meant about the work ensuing. This is because at the time I DID put all of this inaccurate meaning on the collar I received, and admittedly fell into the mythology that “all will be well” now. The truth was, Sir and I had new issues that had to be worked out. There were new parameters and boundaries that had to be explored and set. Expectations had to be communicated more astutely; expectations that I had assumed were already in place because after all, I was now a man’s property. Certainly we’ve already done a majority of the foundation setting. Admittedly I became more careless and sloppy with the way I conducted myself as a boy. I might also add – and I wince as I share this – I became very childish. I acted out because the ‘demons’ of my neediness were not being assuaged by the collar. My first run as a boy lasted less than a year. Was it a disaster? No. It was painful, but I also woke up and realized what these symbols truly mean. And of course, what they do not.

Leather has all kinds of glamorized rituals that we often put far too much meaning into. Some of these rituals don’t actually have any basis in history but we have turned them into meaning-making events that cause us to draw false conclusions. I’ve used the collaring as one example but the same can be said for earning a title, or a pin, or being covered. I remember being at an event in Toronto and being surprised by receiving my Muir cap and being proclaimed a Sir. I was there with my leather family at the time and my own Sir, and together he and one of the community leaders presented me with the honor of becoming a Sir myself. Again, here was this amazing symbol that was being given to me,with all kinds of amazing fanfare. I was blown away.

And I had to say to my ego, “NOW the work begins mister.”

Wherever you are in your experience of leather and kink, remember what my friend said about remaining vigilant about the ‘work’. Just like with a marriage or a commitment of any kind in life, there isn’t really a true arrival point. The process is ongoing and never ends, and that’s actually what makes it beautiful and extraordinary. The evolution and change is infinite. If you fall into the false belief that a symbol or ritual allows you to ‘ease up’ on your diligence, you’ll fall into a trap of stagnation or resignation. Don’t rob yourself of the experience of growth. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can experience in leather.

*Deep breath*

Okay. Back to the grind.

I know how the majority of us feel about this holiday and if you’re like me, I despise it. The amount of insanity and chaos I see just in the people travelling and purchasing and cooking all for an audience that they don’t really care to be with and don’t get any kind of gratification from is very sad, really. But the one thing that most kinksters and leatherfolk like us embrace around this time is the company of who we choose to be with and call ‘family’, in whatever capacity that may be. Most of us are already given the label of ‘black sheep’ by our biological families, and then on top of it we have lives and connections and play that sets us apart even moreso. But we are blessed in that we can choose to spend our holiday with those that we are loved and accepted by, or simply enjoy the company of, and call them family.

I haven’t spent the holidays with my bio family in over a decade. I don’t ‘hate’ who they are, it’s just that the majority of the interaction when I am with them is in the form of put-downs and ridicule. My mother stopped including herself in the gatherings for the same reason and used to tell me, “only surround yourself with people that fan the flame of your spirit.” Yes it’s a trippy saying but I love it and it holds true. So more times than not I am either with the company of friends or leather family, or I chose to work. And I see to it that I feel the blessing of whatever connection I chose.

With these holidays, or really any day for that matter, please keep something in mind when it comes to ‘chosen family’. This is a term that is thrown around in leather a great deal and unfortunately there are some that forget one important aspect of it – the emotional responsibility that comes with it. In other words, if someone has chosen you to be family to them, it is up to you to cherish that they did so. This person has informed you that you are special and important to them. They enjoy your company and feel lit up when they are with you. You provide something for them that makes their life a little better and a little happier for whatever reason. The only reason you have connected is because you chose to do so, so don’t shit on it. Don’t take it for granted, don’t treat it as an emotional dumping grounds, and don’t be one-sided. Honor the sharing you have and nurture it. Remember, you can always be un-chosen as well.

With whatever connections you make this holiday, please take the time to cherish the person you chose to connect with and vice versa; whether it’s extended leather family or a co-worker stuck at work with you, or even the neighbor you don’t really know but they took 10 minutes to stop by your house to deliver a nasty homemade fruitcake that you’re not going to touch. The bottom line is, someone took the time to let you know that you are important to them for whatever reason, and we need to do a lot more of that to counteract the cruelty this holiday brings.

To all the people I consider ‘family’ in one form or another, thank you. I love you immensely and you all fan the flame of MY spirit  🙂

Now, back to work, and enjoying the awesome company of this really fun flight crew….

I understand we have an obsession for labels.

You point to your shoes and say the word “Prada” and some people simply treat you differently. You tell people the area code of where you live, and you might get a reaction of “oooooh!” or just the opposite. Even when I take out a set of locking fistmitts the person may joyfully react with, “Mr.S?”, and I’ll nod proudly. We have assigned a perceived importance of labels to instigate how we shall continue our interaction. It’s as though they are touchstones to how things will proceed.

Sometimes we appear to have to do this in leather and kink, and frankly the words have gotten out of control.

Someone will ask you, “how do you identify?” Okay, I understand if you respond with ‘top’ or ‘bottom’ or ‘gay’ or ‘bi’ or whatever. Maybe you need to say something like “I’m more old guard” or “I’m a pain pig” to appear more enticing. Great! Ultimately we just want to know if a connection of some kind is going to be possible or if there might be chemistry. So, these words can indicate if it’s a go or not. Maybe you’re a submissive who is seeing being collared to a dominant, and what they are looking for is someone who sees themselves as a ‘slave’, where you might be more ‘pup’. Okay, both parties know to keep looking. Words like this can be useful to economize finding what you are looking for.

But I remember being at a large event where I heard all kinds of crazy labels that really told me nothing:

“I am biologically male and my inner prowess identifies as a feminized boy, but as a power switch I lean more toward an internalized she-wolf and so I take on a woman’s name when I Dom. I’m a service-oriented pain servant as well with pup-like tendencies and lean more toward being someone else’s beta when I do so. How about you?”

Pause.

I shrugged and simply said, “I’m Dart.”

I was blown away. I had NO idea what any of these words really meant or what I was supposed to do with this information that was provided. Does this mean we won’t play? Are you even interested? Is there something I’m supposed to do when it comes to our interaction based on these terms…?

I understand that I am being judgmental here, and it deserves some grace.  Truth be told the fact is that these labels provided some means of identity for this person. It was as though taking them on gave them permission to express themselves they way they wanted to. So, it’s not completely fair for me to not understand them because obviously they are they to enable the other person to be who they want to be. But ultimately, an overuse of the English language isn’t going to add to the power exchange we’re hoping to have. When you get deep into it, the words are just ‘noise’.

Sometimes the use of a label on someone can be a hindrance, because it doesn’t illustrate the totality of the person. I have a dear friend at work who survived a bout with breast cancer, and she absolutely detests being called a “cancer survivor”.  Her reasons are simple – she doesn’t want to be called a survivor, she wants to be seen as a person who survived. Subtle difference, but one gives her an identity all around the breast cancer, the other treats her as a whole person who happened to have breast cancer at one time. It’s something she had, but it isn’t who she is. “If people interact with me based solely on what I went through with the cancer, they are missing out on all the really awesome things about me!’ she says. I absolutely adore her by the way and I find this approach to be very inspiring. It has made me wonder how I am missing out on the labels that I have taken on.

Personally, I think we need to back off on all of these BDSM/kink labels for they have reached a ridiculous level of jargon. A connection is a connection and ultimately the dynamics reach a level that cannot be understood on a linear level.  If we need these words as a way “directing our spirit” I can certainly understand that, however we want the focus of others to be on US, not the labels.

Next time you’re at an event and someone asks how you identify, try saying “I’m ME”.

For many of you the connection that follows will be utterly amazing 🙂

I always love when people tell me that communication is the key to relationships, especially when the advice comes from someone who is not in one and doesn’t have a good track record with them. While the advice is certainly true, the art of exchanging words and genuinely being heard and understood is not an easy one. No doubt I have my challenges in trying to master it myself.

We all like to think that we are stronger and wiser as a result of our past, and in many ways we are. We try things, we fall down, we make mistakes, learn, get back up and proceed again or take a different approach – it’s life. We figure out what didn’t work previously so we don’t let it repeat itself. We take something negative and turn it into a useful tool for the future. However, when it comes to communication and expressing yourself to someone, or being on the receiving end of it, the past can be a hindrance.

In life we have all kinds of experiences that make us draw conclusions and form ‘filters’ that we perceive things through. I will give you an example of this with something I deal with at work (I’m a flight attendant for those who do not know). It is said that one of the most challenging domestic routes a crewmember can work is New York to Miami. I don’t really know how to describe it except that it’s just a LOT. It’s always a very busy flight, very full, and there’s a lot of – passion shall we say. And it’s not necessarily always full of nasty people; I have often said that even when the flight is perfect and all the passengers are happy it STILL wears you out. It’s just a very aggressive ‘people experience’. Well, all of what I have described is now a filter that I perceive the NY-Miami flight through. It’s just subconsciously in place and other flight attendants have said the same thing so there is agreement. So now if I have a particularly demure, calm and pleasant customer on that flight – yet I have this filter in place, there’s going to be limitations to how we communicate.  They may ask for something as kindly as possible, and I’m still going to be defensively thinking, “okay what’s the catch? What are they really trying to get out of me?” It’s not necessarily the truth, it just my perception that makes it seem like it is.

The same can be said with D/s relationships – or any relationship really. You have the experience of one person, and it may not go well or there may be negative things that occur in the connection. Consciously or unconsciously, that becomes part of your filter that you experience the next person through. And the next. And the next. And suddenly you’re not truly experiencing the person you’re with, you’re busy reconciling all the inner dialogues created by the previous connections. As are they! All parties involved are attempting to communicate with one another based on the past, and not being truly present to one another. We are trying so hard to avoid a previous experience that we are living in the future created solely from the past. AND WE ARE NOT IN THE MOMENT.

Here’s the really tough part. In order to be authentic and speak truthfully, we have to risk vulnerability, and that’s terrifying. As kinky Sirs and boys and slaves and pups we have what we believe to be a built-in means of protection in that we are ascribing to being archetypes. In other words, if we look like a menacing mean Sir nobody has to know that we’re really terrified and needy underneath. Nobody has to see any of my imperfections or flaws as long as my biceps look good. You may laugh, but I will tell you that at any given moment at MAL there is a gay man in his hotel room doing last minute pushups because he’s about to enter the lobby. It’s what we think we have to do to survive. But alas, that exterior only goes so far. Sooner or later if there is to be a connection and one based on trust, we have to lower that guard and risk being real. We have to expose all those things that we believe the other person won’t like about us, because somebody previously said they were a problem.

There is a young man in our life that if I may speak bluntly, Bart and I have lusted after for quite some time. Very recently, he has expressed that he is interested in serving us both as our boy. Personally I am WAY excited about exploring this, but in chatting with him I am also very aware of just how much our barriers and filters have gotten in the way of feeling an intense connection previously. From a personal standpoint, I always had this filter of not being good enough or sexy enough that this boy would even be interested. Previous flirtatious exchanges were met with a certain reservation, and I drew the conclusion that he was looking for something in a completely different ‘league’ that was not us. However, in chatting with him recently we have found out that just the opposite was true, and that what we perceived as hesitation or disinterest was actually his being overly protective of himself and trying not to appear ‘needy’. We said, “you don’t appear needy at all boy! In fact we’d rather see how you really feel!” He explained however that previous relationships had told him that the way he was coming across was unattractive, so he was trying hard to not be that way in talking with us. Thus we had an exchange that had been stilted for a long time because both of us were communicating from untrue belief systems. And because we’re TWO Sirs that would be taking him on, we also have to contend with Bart’s filters and the inner dialogues that he’s contending with.

Being a Sir or being a collared boy can be an invigorating and rewarding experience, but also very challenging. We create these enticing yet protective exteriors to get the attention of others, and then an opportunity for relatedness opens up and we have to risk being real in order to establish trust. For a finite evening of play or sex the exterior serves its purpose, but for genuine nurturing relationships where there is to be love and growth and protection, eventually that facade has to be dropped and the human side revealed. The side that is imperfect, scared, insecure, and quirky.

Essentially, it’s the side of us that truly is perfect!

I think my husband probably had the best communication approach when he proposed to me four years ago. He asked me to marry him via text.

“Text? Really?” I said.

He responded, “Yes. This way you can keep reading it over and over and know that it’s true!”

Okay. Gotta admit he’s good.

I might also add that later that day when I came home, he got down on bended knee to solidify the communication 🙂